Grace (Psalm 133)

In my last post, I asked "what burbles up from the depths of memory when you are struck by beauty and grace." Here is one answer, from my own life experience.

Whenever I entered Earlville United Parish church on a Sunday morning to find the Laxson brothers ushering, I couldn't keep myself from saying aloud, "How good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity" -- the first verse of Psalm 133. Seeing those two men together, living in the same town, spending time together, working at church together, and apparently enjoying one another's company-- for more than fifty years!-- it was a wonder to me, a cause for holy awe. Honestly, I couldn't think of anything more torturous than having to see my sister or brother every day. I did not like them, up-close. At a distance, they were all right. At holidays, for a few hours, I could tolerate them. I liked the general idea of a close-knit family, and I really wished I could have grown up in one of those, but I didn't.
What I remember of my childhood is pinching, biting, wrestling, slapping, name-calling, and believe me it was all in self-defense. My brother escaped the family home as soon as he was old enough to work; my sister wouldn't leave even after she was married. She was always around, I couldn't go home to have a quiet visit with my parents, she was there waiting for me when I pulled in the driveway. I just couldn't stand her.
When she died, the first thing I remember saying to my husband once I was able to stop crying for a while is, "I thought she would be around to irritate me until we were old ladies together." I swear, I remember Richard saying, "Well, maybe she will be." In the sense that just thinking of what a horrible, ungrateful little sister I was horrifies me, she is with me still.
I have two daughters. And this is how I know that God does not punish us according to our actions-- they like each other. They get along great. They each have a better sister than either my sister or I had. When I see them together, I can't help but think, "How good and pleasant it is when sisters dwell together in unity." Ah... Amen.

(Living together in harmony, at least long enought to snap a photo. Easter 1966.)